Valentine's day
by gothina234
Summary: Valentine's day brings pain and bad decisions as Reid thinks about Maeve and everything he wanted with her. Morgan and Rossi aren't about to let him go down this dark road alone. One shot.


**Hey everyone, here is a one shot based of the idea of last night's episode. It's nothing to do with the case but it popped into my head that Reid was alone on the one day where everyone celebrated love, this is about things coming to a head and him giving in to the pain of losing Maeve. I haven't seen the episode yet as I haven't really been able to but I've read a recap. I did this as it just popped into my head. Enjoy and let me know what you think.  
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**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Sitting in his bathroom, he looked at the vial in his hands, the liquid inside calling to him like a siren trying to lure a sailor in the sea. His hands were shaking and the date was taunting him. Valentine's day, another cruel joke to him. Placing the vial on the floor, he thought about Maeve and how wonderful it would be to spend a day with her. The pain never seemed to end, every day it got more and more difficult to pretend that he was getting over what he had with her. He knew she was his perfect match and he couldn't understand the reason for her being ripped away from him. He watched the others as they all went into relationships, they were happy while he stared at the same book on the bookshelf everyday, wishing that the woman he loved would arrive and read it to him.

Picking up his smart phone, he scrolled down and clicked on Morgan's name. He put the phone to his ear and waited for someone to answer. He was about to hang up when Morgan picked up the phone. Reid could hear laughter in the background.

"Hey, Reid. Can I call you back later?"

"Um, yeah," Reid sniffed as he struggled to keep himself from losing control. "I'm sorry I disturbed your date, I forgot."

"Reid, wait," Morgan said quickly. "Are you okay? You sound strange."

"I'm fine, I just-" he hesitated before closing his eyes and grabbing the vial. "Never mind, I worked it out."

Hanging up the phone, he placed it next to him and decided on what he wanted to do.

* * *

"Morgan, was is it?" Garcia asked as she came away from Sam.

"That was Reid," Morgan answered. "He sounds different, he sounded upset. Savannah, would it be okay if I just drive and check up on him?"

"I'll keep her occupied," Garcia smiled.

"Honey, it's fine. Go and check on your friend. I'll be waiting here for you."

"You're the best," he said before kissing her and leaving the diner.

* * *

Standing outside the door, he knocked and waited for an answer. "Kid, it's me, open up."

Pulling out his keys, he located Reid's spare key and opened the door, he didn't like this and he knew something was wrong. Reid didn't know he had the spare key but he had taken it after they had helped him clean the apartment. He saw a light coming from the bathroom and made his way down the hall. Small sobs came from the bathroom. Pushing the door open, Morgan felt shock when he found a needle and vial next to Reid and a tourniquet still around his arm, he rushed forward and grabbed Reid by the shoulders. "What did you do?!"

"I didn't do it," Reid cried. "I want to do it but I can't decide. I want the pain to go away, Morgan. Why are you here?!"

"You called me and I know when you sound upset. Why would you think turning back to drugs was the right answer?"

"What else can I do?!" Reid shouted at him. "You all have relationships and today, it got to me. I just want her back, Morgan. I want to see her eyes again, to hear her voice and hear her say that she loves me. I got her killed because I didn't convince Diane. It's my fault, it's all my fault."

Morgan ripped the tourniquet from around Reid's arm, grabbed the needle full of dilaudid and then the vial. He smashed the vial in the sink and turned on the tap to wash away the drug. He pushed out the contents of the needle before wrapping it up. He would dispose of it safely later on. Grabbing Reid by his arms, he brought him to his feet. "You know that taking drugs again isn't the answer."

Reid shrugged out of Morgan's grasp and stepped away. "Just go, Morgan."

"There is no way in hell that I'm leaving you on your own."

"I didn't ask for you to come here."

"Like hell, Reid. You called me because you wanted help but changed your mind."

"Get out of my apartment, just get out!"

"No!"

"Go back to your girlfriend and leave me alone. You got rid of the drugs, I don't need your help anymore. Go and enjoy your valentine."

"Were you going to just take the drugs or were you planning on doing something a lot more stupider?"

"Screw you, Morgan."

"What is wrong with you?" Morgan snapped. "You are clearly not in a good state of mind. I'm not walking out of this apartment because I don't trust you. I'm not coming back tomorrow to find you dead."

"What is wrong with me?" Reid said angrily. "You put my hopes up that day we tried to save Maeve. You promised me that we would get her back and that I'd be able to tell her how much I love her. Instead, I watched some bitch kill herself and the woman who I love, all I got that day was a memory that I'll never forget. Her parents blame me, did you know that? I brought her out into the open and they blame me for getting her killed."

"I thought we would get her back," Morgan said.

"We didn't though," Reid cried. "She died while I live every day with her blood on my hands."

"I'm sorry, Reid, I really am. Taking drugs though isn't the answer, I want you to come with me. I ran into Garcia and her date at a diner, I want you to come with me."

"I'm not going to ruin your evening. Go back to Savannah."

"You're coming with me even if I have to drag you kicking and screaming."

* * *

Garcia laughed gently as Sam did his impression of a comedian. Savannah laughed too before taking a drink of her milkshake. As she wiped tears from her eyes caused by laughing, she looked up and watched as Morgan walked back in but holding Reid by the arm. Morgan placed Reid in another booth and motioned for her to come over. "I'll be right back, just stay here."

She slid out of the booth and came over. "What's going on?"

Reid refused to meet her eye.

"I walked in and found him with a vial of dilaudid, a filled needle and a tourniquet around his arm, he hasn't taken any though. We can't leave him alone," Morgan explained in a low voice. Reid tried to get out of the booth but Morgan grabbed his shoulder and pushed him back down. Garcia looked down at him in shock, her eyes showing a mix of anger and sadness.

"Why would you go back to drugs?"

"I just want to go home, Garcia. Morgan practically dragged me out of my apartment, I don't need your help and this is none of your business."

"It's my business when my friend chooses to destroy himself. Morgan, keep an eye of him, I need to make a phone call."

He nodded and watched Garcia go outside for a moment. He brought Reid out of the booth and put him in a booth across from him. "Stay here, the moment you try to run I will tackle you to the floor. I don't think you want to make a spectacle."

"Can I at least get a coffee?

* * *

Rossi walked up the sidewalk after parking his car up the street. As he made his way into the diner, he spotted Morgan with his date and Garcia with her date. He moved his gaze over to another booth where he found a dishevelled Reid staring at his coffee. He made his way over and sat across from him. Reid met his eye for a second before returning to his coffee.

"Where did you get the drugs?" Rossi demanded.

"None of your business, Rossi."

"I have nowhere to go and all the time in the world, I'm not moving from this booth till we talk this out. Don't think you're going to work anytime soon either. It becomes my concern when a member of my team buys drugs and almost takes them. This is about Maeve, we both know that. I told you that I was around if you needed help, why didn't you call me?"

"Assumed you had plans."

"We both know that since Erin, I haven't had those kind of plans. I know Valentine's day isn't easy for you, it isn't easy for me either. I wasn't there when you experienced Hankel's torture and I wasn't there when you had your drug problem. I'm here now though and I'm ready to help. I know you miss Maeve and I know it is difficult to lose the woman you love. I want an honest answer. Were you just trying to get high, or did you want to commit suicide?"

"I just wanted the pain to end. My life is one constant line of pain, struggling and death, I don't want it anymore, I've never done anything to deserve all the crap I've gone through. Maeve and me, we were meant to live a life together and I failed her."

"You didn't fail her."

"Her parents blame me for her death, she was safe before I came along and brought her out into the open. I met them and her mother slapped me, then she proceeded to shout that I didn't love her daughter. I try to act like I'm happy but I'm dead inside. I have been for a while. Drugs make life easier, they give you a peaceful way to get out of life."

"I want you to stay with me till you stop thinking like this."

"Nothing will change how I am feeling. Can you magically bring back Maeve? No, you can't."

"I can't bring back Maeve and I can't bring back my Erin either, I can help you handle the pain though. Just come with me and I'll look after you. We both know that Maeve would never want you to do this."

"I wish she was here to tell me I want," Reid said quietly, closing his eyes and beginning to shake. Rossi moved from his side of the booth and over to Reid's side, he put an arm around him and watched him break down into sobs. "I just don't understand what I do to deserve losing what I love all the time."

"It's okay," Rossi soothed. For a moment, his mind called Reid by the name of the son he never got to raise. As he sat there holding Reid, he felt like a father. "Let's go, Reid. You're going to come back to my house and get some sleep, I sense you haven't gotten much sleep in a while."

Reid nodded and slid out of the booth after Rossi. "I need to get something from the car, it's important."

Rossi signalled for Morgan to follow him. Morgan followed after him. "He wants something from the car, Morgan."

"I know what it is," Morgan said before he opened up the car, he came back out with a book in his hand. He put it in Reid's hand and watched his friend hold it close to his chest with both hands. He knew Reid would never let go of the book that Maeve gave to him.

"I'll call you later, Morgan," Rossi said.

"Just take care of him."

"I will, don't worry about that."

Morgan watched as Rossi brought his arm around Reid and began to guide him down the street to his car. He realised then that while valentine's day could be wonderful for some, it was the most painful time for those who had lost someone they loved.

He just hoped that Reid wouldn't let the pain of losing Maeve take over.

**Please review**


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